What about the teens?

What about the teens? We as abouts need to share what we can and be pacesetters and role models for teens!

 

 

Topics for teens

First let’s look up the definition of teen.

Teen: The years of a person’s life between ages 13 and 19, of relating to teenagers; a teen. To us that doesn’t really say much. We think that they should be a little more creative with this definition. Maybe they can say something like, “Teen: Is a person from the age of 13 and 19 that can learn and become familiar with positive information that will help them to prepare themselves for a productive future.”

Teens feel much better about themselves when they are able to relate with other teens. Helping them to identify with themselves and their feelings, allows them to have more control over their thoughts, emotions, and behavior, while out in public.

Most teens are not familiar with the different states of mind, for example: 1) Reasonable state. 2) Wise state. 3) Emotional state. They really have not been taught in depth about the different phases, or stages they go through in life, such as from the child, adult, and parent stage. As they go through different experiences from age 13 to 19 it can be somewhat confusing to them when facing certain changes, problems, and obstacles. You would be surprised at how many questions are not answered because they’re either afraid to ask because of certain insecurities or they don’t want to feel stupid. A lot of teens wouldn’t dare ask their parents about mature things because they have what you call a teen code. They can’t break that teen code because if they do then the parent will no longer treat them like a child that always needs attention, but will start treating them like an adult that has responsibilities. So lots of teens get their answers from T.V. shows, movies, music, internet, and on the streets, and lots of times they can’t separate entertainment from reality or they get the wrong information. We will go more in depth with these subjects later. So for now let’s just chip a little piece of the ice.

We believe that our actions and behavior plays a big role in our lives. However, many parents and adults do not counsel teens on behavior modification unless they get into some type of trouble. If they would counsel them on behavior modification before they got into trouble, it would be much easier for them to hold themselves accountable for their own actions. They would have no problem in being proactive when it came to applying themselves and adapting to a society that is constantly changing.

If a teen has the normal necessities in life, (food, clothing, shelter), most of the time they are comfortable with not having responsibility. Especially if they have parents that give them almost anything they want. Because they know that they have years to make financial, goal-orientated, decisions, even after they reach the age 19. So they really don’t think about what they want in life or where they want to be in ten years. If you ask most teens what type of career they would like to have, they would probably say “I don’t know”, or randomly pick a career that takes lots of studying, research and hard work. So I’m more than happy that we have colleges and different trade schools to help them to seek a good career. However, nowadays we know that if the teen does not stay in school and earn a High School Diploma then that dream will be very hard to reach and it will be hard to get a good job. But there is another alternative, which is a GED, which may possibly inspire them to go to college and develop more skills that will enable them to obtain a career.

Before teens can seek employment in the United States they must be a certain age and if they’re not able to land a job, the best thing a teen can do is go to school and do well and stay out of trouble.

There are many programs and activities to assist them if they are motivated to be a part of what’s available to them. But we often see many of our teens not occupying their time with things that are productive. Sadly lots of teens make poor choices and join gangs or may drop out of school or end up on drugs, alcohol and/or end up in jails and prisons. Some don’t live to see twenty years old.

Teen parents

Teen Parents are a big part of our society, and we as people must always be ready, willing, and able to assist our teen parents. Teen parents have challenges to meet, and goals to complete on a daily basis. Being a teen parent can be very complex, and can take lots of hard work raising a child. Having a high self-esteem really does help out a lot. Knowing the difference from who you think you are, and who you really are, gives a person more room to work with, and allows them to continue to improve their everyday life as a parent.

Self-esteem should always be a teen parents billboard. One reason I use the word billboard is because a billboard is usually very big in size for everyone to see, and a billboard is always used to get a person’s attention. You find billboards everywhere especially on highways. When you see a billboard it can give you all type of information and directions. Self-esteem is a way to a place of confidence and maturity. Self-esteem is a bridge to connect you to a positive image, and helps you to identify with yourself and others. Self-esteem is the key to being, confident, motivated, and productive in our society. Self-esteem does so many good things for a young person. Having a high self-esteem gives even more to a person, when he or she is realistic, and sincere about their life.

21, Questions to ask a teen parent

  1. Diffine teen parent?
  2. Are you a good teen parent or a bad teen parent?
  3. Are you a responsible, mature, teen parent?
  4. How or why did you want to become a teen parent?
  5. Are you married or do you plan on getting married?
  6. Does it make a difference if you are rich or poor, to be a good teen parent?
  7. Does community and environment play a big role in how you feel about parenting?
  8. Are your parents good parents or bad parents?
  9. Are you a teen parent that runs the streets, getting high, and drinking?
  10. Do your parents help you to take care of your child or children?
  11. Is your your boyfriend or girlfriend involved in your child’s life?
  12. Do you think that your child has stopped you from going to school or being financially successful?
  13. Does your child stop you from meeting new friends?
  14. Does your income stop you from wanting to do more for your child?
  15. If you know what you knew now, would you have still chosen to have a child?
  16. Are you planning on having more children and why?

!7. What is the difference between sex and love and relationship?

  1. Do you know the difference in, spanking, hitting, whipping, beating or abusing your child?
  2. Do you have friends that are teen parents?
  3. Are you a part of any programs or have you been involved in any programs that assist teen parents?
  4. Do you verbally abuse your child by calling him or her names, and cursing at them?
  5. What do you know about structure, and can you define the word structure in your own words?

There’s most definitely thousand’s of other question I could ask, but It would take me forever to start off this topic on teen parents.

So sit tight and enjoy what I have to share on this subject. Feel free to comment or even write about this subject, and send it to us through comment or email: admin@teenstructure,com  You can also join networkcontentproducer.com to enjoy all of our positive, productive, topics.

Teen Parents1  

One day I has walking out of the grocery store, and I observed two teen parents standing in front of the store with their little girl. I guess the dad was about nineteen and the mom was about seventeen years old, and the little girl was about two years old. The mom was talking to her little girl. “She said, Brianna you are so cute. I wish I could give you all the things you need.” The little girl looked at her and “said, mommy you already give me your love, and that’s enough for me. The mom looked at her and said, ” We need our own apartment, and you need clothes, and shoes, and your daddy hasn’t got a job yet. Your grandma has given me so much money, and I can’t get a job because they haven’t approve me for a baby sitter yet. We can’t keep staying with your grandma.”

The dad said, ” Your mom is okay with us staying there. She is very positive, and supportive. I will pay her back for everything she has done for us. I believe I’m going to get this job at Sovereign of Sovereigns Car lot! I will be working the night shift, then I can get the proper rest, and get up on time for school, and what’s so good is that I get out of school at 2:30pm, and I don’t have to be at  work until 5:pm, so that gives me more then enough time to come home before I go to work, and spend some time with you and Brianna. “Plus I’m off on the weekends, and they told me that they will start me off with fifteen dollars an hour. All they have to do is a background check, and a urine test, and if everything comes out positive they will call me. So stop worrying baby.

“The little girl said, mom I don’t want any clothes, I like the clothes I have. All I need is to be with you and dad. Dad will get a job soon and everything will be fine. Then she held up her little doll and said, “then I can have my own room, and some more dolls and a dollhouse for them to live in.

The dad, looked at her and said, “you’re going to have more than a dollhouse to play with. You’re going to have all the toys in the the world. Then the teen dad’s phone rang, and he walked a little ways over to the other side of the column, and answered his phone. The teen mom kissed her little girl on the nose and said, you’re right. You’re so smart! Maybe I just need be patient, and soon as your dad get’s a job I will go back to school online, and get my GED, and go to nursing school. And I know your dad will get a job, I’m sure he will.”

Then the dad, hung up his phone and walked back over to his family and said, ” Guess what, I got the job!.” The mom was so excited she kissed her boyfriend, and said, oh wow, you got it! You’re a great dad and I love you. You have done so much for us. I’m so glad you don’t be in the streets getting high and selling drugs. You’re doing so good in college, and now you are working. The dad said, I like being mature and responsible. I am the one that got you pregnant and I am the one that will provide for you and my child. The mom then looked at the little girl and said, “Your dad got the job!” The little girl said, told you mommy! They then walked into the grocery store. “I thought to myself, wow, that’s what you call responsible teen parents.”

Teen Parents2

Another time I was standing at the bus stop and I observed two teen parents with their little boy. The teen dad and mom was probably about eighteen, and the little boy was about three years old. The dad was dressed like a thug rapper, with a big long gold chain with a jesus cross on it. His pants were hanging so far to the ground, you could see his underwear. He looked like he was so high off weed that if he took two steps forward, he would pass out to the ground.

The mom was dressed in very tight white pants, and her pink thong was coming out the back of her pants. What was so bad about this picture was that her pants were so tight that she couldn’t even sit down, so she stood there like a zombie as if she were on some type of pills.

All of a sudden she looked at the dad and said, ” You are a mother f-ckin idiot. All you do is smoke f-ckin drugs. He looked at her and said, “Sh-t, all you do is pills. You’re nothing but a pill head. How do you expect to ever have anything? She took her time as she walked closely to him and snatched his cigarette out of his mouth, and thumped it on the grass in front of him. The little boy right away, ran over to the cigarette and stomped it. The teen dad said, boy get your bad-ss over here before I crack your dome. The little boy looked at his teen dad and said, you shouldn’t be smoking.

The dad snacthed his little boy by the shoulder and said, “I will beat the living Sh-t out of you if you question me again. The little boy said, “I hate you, I want to go live with my grandmomma, you treat me like a dog. The teen dad said that’s why your mom can’t keep me around because of your bad-ss. I should of wore a rubber, you lil nasty pill head baby”. The little boy started crying, and the dad started slapping him really hard on the butt, and said, shut the hell up, shut up with your bad lil a-s! You suppose to be a gangster, and gangsters don’t cry, punk!

The teen mom slapped the teen dad in the chest and said, why do you keep beating him like he’s a goon? I don’t care about you beating on me, but stop beating my baby! I’m calling the police on you. He then grabs her by the collar and says, “Where are you going to live if you lock me up b-tch? You’ve already been put out of your dad’s house because you don’t want to stop getting high. You are an alcoholic! “She then says, I get high because I’m depressed. I don’t have anything. The more I try to have anything, the more you take it away. You’re right! You should’ve wore a rubber! I’m tired of you putting me down, beating me, and using me. You treat me like I’m a whores. I thought you love me? My life is ruined. Why did I ever get involved with a gang banger anyway? I’m going to put him up for adoption.

The dad says, ” If you put him up for adoption, it will be fine with me. I’m outty! Take that little snot nose monkey and feed him to the gators. The teenage mom grabs him by the the shirt and says, please don’t leave us, I’m sorry. Please don’t leave us? We have nowhere to go! The dad just looks at her and walks away.

The teen mom grabs the little boy by the wrist, and says come on let’s get on the bus. The little boy says, ‘where are we going mommy? She says, to my friends house. As soon as she starts to walk toward the bus, a car pulls up with loud rap music playing, and a guy says, “What’s up Shantay? She says, I was just about to come to your spot. He says, hop in!” She puts her son in the back seat and sits up front. The guy then says, where’s your boyfriend? She says, “he’s an idiot, I broke up with him. He says, well you know I’ve been liking you for years, so what’s up now? She leans forward and kisses him and says I have nowhere to go, can we stay with you? Let’s go to your place. He smiles and says, “yeah, I have my own crib, cool! He then hands her a lit blunt. “He says, you know I sell drugs out of my spot. Are you cool with that? She says, yep, if i can make a little money. “He says, baby, you know you gonna be getting paid! She takes a puff of weed, as the little boy stares at her hand as she places it in her mouth. She then takes another pull and coughs like a man with tuberculosis. They then drive away. “I thought to myself, wow what irresponsible teen parents.”

So what can we do to help teen parents understand the things they need to understand about being good, responsible, parents? Can we really help teens to be more parent oriented, and mature about life as a parents? I think we can help those teens that are receptive and ambitious. I think we can help teens that are able to listen and participate. I think that we can help teens that are looking for an answer. But can we help teens that don’t think they need help? Can we help teens that won’t accept help? Can we help teens that are passive, insecure, inadequate, and have a low self-esteem? Structure can be used as a tool that can help a teen parent to be a good, responsible, parent, especially if they are able to make a small effort.

I believe we can help them all no matter how they feel about life, about themselves, and the things around them. 

How do we help these teen parents?

There are several ways!

Here is a list of things we all can share with them to help them to see life a different way.

  1. Structure
  2. Belief System
  3. Behavior modification
  4. Self-esteem
  5. Self-awareness
  6. Problem Solving
  7. Acceptance and Accountability
  8. Learning about Relationship
  9. Managing your relationship
  10. Mentally and Emotionally Balanced
  11. Maturity
  12. Advice from other parents
  13. Patient
  14. Environmental adjustment
  15. Form new habits
  16. Mind development
  17. Be Consistent
  18. Wishing, Hoping, Dreaming, Expectation
  19. Goal and Success oriented
  20. Responsibility
  21. Analyzing yourself
  22. Hard Work and effort
  23. Understanding the world we live in
  24. Life Benefits

Structure

Structure: the arrangement of and relations between the parts or elements of something complex. Construct or arrange according to a plan; give a pattern or organization to.

We can not live inside of a house if it has no structure. A house with poor structure will eventually fall. If the house has good structure, then the framework will not tumble. If your house is not built properly, and a strong, windstorm, flood, earthquake, tornado, comes upon that house, it will not fall. Frame work is very important when it comes to building. When they build big bridges, they know that its very important to design it properly. Before you build something that you would like to last for a long time, you must draw up a blueprint. You must have a plan, (a good plan.) Life must be thought of in the same way. Somewhere in your life, you must put things in perspective, and have some type of structure. If not, your life may become very complicated to handle. You may get stressed, frustrated, angry, and bitter. You may not be able to think clearly when faced by certain situations. Structure also helps you to form a positive belief system.

How many teens have a plan for life or a plan for what they may face in the next five to fifteen years? When I was a teen, someone asked me, “Where do you plan to be in the next five years? Then they asked, “Where do you plan to be in the next fifteen years?” I said, ” In five years, I plan on having my own house, and a car, and having a really good job.” In fifteen years, “I plan on being a millionaire!”  Little did I know that in three years I would be in prison. In ten years economy would collapse. In fifteen years my mom would die and my life would take a whole new turn.

When my mom died, I accepted the fact that I was a man, and I had to be assertive, and optimistic, with a high self-esteem, and be optimistic. I put life in perspective, and I relied on all the positive, morals, values, principles, and standards, I had been taught. I knew that if I used those tools, that I would have stucture in my life and I could live with integrity. I also knew that structure would give me room for improvement. So I was more than willing to add onto my belief system, and the rest is history.

I never had kids, and I’m glad I didn’t because I would have not been able to properly take care of them. One of the reasons I never had kids is because of my experiences as a kid. My mom worked hard to provide for us and she could never get any rest because of the countless things she had to do to keep us fed, educated, and safe, etc. I learned a lot from my mom. Even when my sisters had kids they also were very busy 24 hours a day, taking good care of their kids.

Structure is a part of life. When you are able to organize your life at a young age, and able to focus in on what you need, instead of what you want, you are well on your way. Being a teen has it’s challenges. When you are a teen you have to separate the child state of mind from the maturity adult state of mind (child way of thinking and the adult way of doing things). Young teens are adults. An adult should be mature, and hold themselves responsible for their own actions. However if you are not taught about the adult this stage of life, you may not really become mature until you reach thirty years old.

I wouldn’t suggest a teen to have a child. In fact I don’t agree with a teen having sex. I’m sure lots of adults and parents think the same way. When you are able to take on the discipline of life and accept certain principles and standards in life, you may be ready to raise a child. You really have to understand how your behavior plays an important role in your life. We all need to have some type of belief system. Having a positive belief system really does help a young person to see themselves with a different perspective, and allows them to feel strong, and confident with what they believe in. The way you think about life has a lot to do with what you experience, and having some type of belief system will help you to take on other experiences in life. Being a parent takes discipline and discipline can be used as self control. Self control can be used as apart of your belief system and through self-control you can practise abstinence  .

Belief System

Belief systems are the stories we tell ourselves to define our personal sense of “reality”. Every human being has a belief system that they utilize, and it is through this mechanism that we individually, “make sense” of the world around us.

Belief System: the belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers, regarded as creating and governing the universe: A particular variety of such belief, especially when organized into a system of doctrine and practice: A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader, or your experiences, or someone you look up to. a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: morals, values, principles, standards, etc. 

It’s really important to have a Belief System when you are a teen. Whatever belief system that you have, should be as positive as possible. You can always add or take away from your belief system to make it fit your every act of your life. If you do not know what a belief system is, you may want to ask someone and form a good belief system of morals and values and principles.

Behavior Modification

We all know that if we do not stop what we are doing and rest, that we will get tired, confused, stressed, and maybe even start making mistakes. I do know that it is good when a person can slow down, and make sure that whatever they are doing is the right thing. We all have to check our motives and analyze ourselves . Life has no deadlines. You are going to live accordingly as planned, no matter how long you think you have on earth, or how short you think you have to be on earth. You can’t prevent death. But what’s good about living is that you have a choice of all the things that you need and want to do and be.

It’s good to re-evaluate or take time out and analyze your life or examine yourself. The older we get the busier we may get. Some people become so overwhelmed with things that has to be done in a certain time period, that they don’t have time to look over there plans or add to their goals, let alone take away from there plan.

Even when you have a good plan, you have to redo it sometimes, so it can be more efficient  for you. “And teen parents came get very busy once the child is born, because by them not ever experiencing having, and raising a child, it can seem to be lots to do.” They can become very stressed, and angry, etc. So it’s good to stop, slow down and take a look at what’s going on in your life and modify your behavior.

Let’s say you are about forty years old, and twenty years ago your morals and values were strong, and your principles, and standards were a very important part of your progress in life. Your motives were sincere and your intentions were pure. Your behavior was a reflection of where you were going, and who you were, and how you felt about yourself, and the world around you.

” Your parents taught you morals and values that you should live by, and you were able to raise your children properly. Now you have a teen, and your teen acts like a child. Then one day your teen came home pregnant. Would you be a little upset and say, “I’m going to take you to get an abortion? ‘What if you did say this, and your teen said, I’m three months pregnant, I can’t have an abortion.

I would think that the first thing you would or could do is to help your teen to see she is not acting mature enough to raise a child. You know that you are the one that will have to raise the child. You know that you would have to spend more money, and find the time to raise another child. You know that it will be hard on you because of economy.

Why couldn’t you help your teen to understand how to be a mature adult, and start to teach your teen how to act like a mature teen and a parent before she had the child?

You would think that your teen daughter knows something about raising a kid? I’m glad to know that in these times, we have videos on youtube. You can also buy movies and videos for you and your teen daughter to look at!

So what am I saying? I am saying that some people may not think the same as they did ten years ago because life takes its wage from us. Time and experiences can make people get seriously busy, lazy, motivated, forgetful, confusing, etc. “Especially if you’re a kid!” You’d be surprised how fast a kids mind and values change. Children are smart, but that doesn’t mean they can process life as fast an adult.

I’ve seen one of my friend sister teach her little girl lot’s of positive things, but once the little girl became a teenager, she forgot everything she was taught. “And she got pregnant at the age of sixteen.” Her and her mom already didn’t get along because she was all in the streets before she got pregnant, and while she was pregnant.

So instead of being patient with her and working with her, she gave up on her, and had to raise her daughter’s child for her. I’m not saying she was wrong for giving up on her but I do think that if she could have sat her down, and helped her to re-think her path, maybe she could have helped changed her way of thinking. Maybe her daughter could have learned to apply some stuff to her life, before she had her baby. Maybe she would have done well. But her mom was to upset at her. Behavior modification does work. It works as a discipline and sometimes is used for a punishment. You don’t have to give up on your child. And please don’t put your child in a home to be disciplined. Some parents will lock their children up in a juvenile detention facility, hoping that will change them but that’s another story I will discuss later.

Life’s times change rapidly. Technology is the leader of these changes. Prices are rising. It’s lot’s of different things going on in our world that not only affect the parents but also affect the children. You can be on top of the world today, and be at the very bottom in six months. You have to continue to be active in your child’s life, and continue to chisel and prune their mind.

You have to stay on a child about it’s behavior, and continue to teach your child about certain values and morals. Or your child can get lost in thought and action. Life has away of taking these important items away from us while we are young. I do think that if she would have sat her down and help her to re-think her path, she would have started applying herself, before she had the baby and everything would have gone well. Behavior modification does work.

Look at when some people go to jail for poor choices. One day in jail helps them to re-think their path in life. I don’t think anyone likes jail. I don’t think anyone likes punishment. But a lesson learned is a step forward if you use it well. We know that when a child does something wrong that we have to bring it to their attention. Sometimes it can be hard to get their attention so we take something that they like away from them, until they understand what they have done wrong. Honestly such is life. Life itself also has a way of stopping us in our tracks so we can put our minds back on what’s important. I do know that some people sometimes can still be so naive and they play the blame game, and never take heave to that lesson. But look what happens, they get themselves in deeper trouble.

I believe that as we get older, experience changes the way we behave, and that positive image that we started out with starts to change into a negative image, or may not be as important to us as it was in the beginning. And also your self-esteem can be lowered, and inadequacy can set in. Your insecurities start to affect the way you feel about yourself. You start concentrating on the things around you like politics, religion, and other things that really have nothing to do with your well being.

Take for instance: Remember when you wanted to be a person that wanted peace on earth or a person that wanted to be a school teacher, so you could help children? You knew that in order for you to achieve these goals that you had to portray a certain image. You applied yourself to that image, and you did everything that you could to be whom you thought you were.

You may have did this because of your self-esteem. Some people have a high self-esteem and some have a low self-esteem. But for now let’s just assume that you’ve always had a high self-esteem.

But once you became older, you started to see how life worked with you and against you. So either you added or subtracted certain things in your life to keep that image or you changed that image for the better, or you took on another image which was better for you. Some people give up, and their image turns into a negative. Everyone has an image whether you like it or not. Teens have an image, and perceive the world in a way that fits their belief and understanding.

Self-esteem

Self-esteem: a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect. an inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of oneself.

If you are a teen, you have to have a clear perspective of who you are. You have to see yourself as someone and somebody. You have to know how to identify with yourself. If you think you are a person with no value, then you will feel that way. If you think of yourself as an inspiration to the world, then you will act and be that way to all. The mirror only shows the outside appearance. Your self-esteem is apart of your innerself. If you feel worthless, you will act like you are worthless. If you feel positive and productive. You will believe in being, doing, and living that way.

Self-esteem has nothing to do with dancing. Anyone can dance. Self-esteem has nothing to do with how well you can use words. Anyone can say something great. Self-esteem has all to do with how you see yourself and how you interact with the people in your life. If you have a high self-esteem and you are a good dancer, you will be a people person and possibly be so charismatic they you would inspire others to dance also. If you know words like a lawyer and you speak clearly, you would say the right words to encourage others to do the same.

When you have a child, you have to interact with that child. You have to show that child that you are strong, mature, caring, honest, motivated, sincere, content, etc. If you act like you don’t care or you are always depressed and angry, then your child may grow up acting or feeling the same way. Build your self-esteem. Read books. Talk to your child about self-esteem when they are babies! Look at motivational speaker videos on youtube. Be charismatic. Live by integrity. Be aware of your image.

People see you as you are most of the time. However there is discrimination, stereotyping, and prejudice. But still we must show others what type of people that we are through how we behave. We show people who we are by how we act and react. Would you believe that some people react toward a situation, and some people act toward a situation. Still through life experience, you would think that a person starts to become aware of themselves and the things they do and notice the things around them and they start to use their self-awareness.

Example: A lion comes your way, and you either fight, hide, run, or stand there. Just like the times in life, either you continue pursuing your dreams by challenges, or learn how to avoid stuff, or do what you think is best for you. But no matter what the cost, you do not let things get the best of you.

You have to know how to act and react toward people, places, and things. You should learn from your choices and mistakes, and that should make you aware. We have different states of mind, or different stages in life, such as the child, adult, parent stage, etc. Some people can be thirty years old and still act like a child or have childish ways. Others can be nineteen years old and act like an old man or react like a mature old man. Age doesn’t make a man wise, but what the man does and how he behaves make him wise. He should be aware of himself and how he acts.

A teen parent can be a good teen parent if that teen parent wants to. I do believe that a good teen parent has certain morals, values, principles, and standards that they live by. I do believe that a male that has a child, and knows that he has to love, and take care of that child, believes that  that, and he will live by what he believes. That’s called integrity.He’s aware of what he has to do.

His integrity plays a big part in his life and helps him to hold fast to that image that he believes in.No matter what, he is and will care for that child. Even if he breaks up with his partner, he will always take care of that child. The same goes for the female. I do believe that when a young lady becomes a mom, she has all the intentions in the world to take care of her child, because of her experience she has while giving birth. They both become aware of themselves, and how they should act, and react, so they will do what they need to do for each other and the child.

They say that our environment, income, mentality, emotions, spirituality, etc, has a lot to do with the way me treat our children. They even say that it can take a whole community to raise a child, but still it is up to the parents to perform their duty as parents. If the parent is mature, and knows, and believes he or she is now a parent, he or she will be a parent. But you cannot be a parent when you still desire to be a child. A child behaves different from a parent and a child does not think like a parent. A child doesn’t have a big responsibility. You have to teach a child responsibility. A child can act or react toward anything and everything. But a teen parent has to act and react in a positive, mature manner.

Shouldn’t experience lead a person to Problem Solving? So when a teen becomes a parent, it must first learn how to behave and act like a parent. He or she must learn about self-esteem. He or she must. Learn about self-awareness. He or she  must take on responsibility, so that he or she can learn about problem solving. If you know how to do mathematics, you should know a little about solving problems. Parents should teach their kids problem solving why they are young. They teach them how to read and write. It’s totally amazing how our society thinks. Lots of things that we teach our children mostly revolves around education. We should educate our children on deeper things also. Taking a child to church to learn about the creator is awesome but we still need to keep instilling them family values in our children. Or should we keep relying on the T.V. shows to teach our kids family values.

Teen parents must know what parents face on a second to second basis. Why does our society teach sex education in schools to our children, but they don’t teach parenting? Abstinence is taught and that’s great if you can practise self-control. Maybe they should teach kids a little about parenting also. You honestly would think that if parenting was also taught, then the child would not want to be a parent until it reached a certain age, or until it reached a certain point in their life or career. The child would know that being a parent is hard work, and the child would respect his or her parents for the care, kindness, and concern.

Teen parents should be taught Acceptance and Accountability.

Acceptance: the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered. “charges involving the acceptance of bribes” receipt, receiving, taking, obtaining more. The action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

Some people have big problems when it comes to acceptance. Some people can’t accept change. Some people can’t accept change or rejection. When you are a teen, you face so many rejections. You experience change at a fast rate. Think about being pregnant for nine months, and then having a baby in one night. Change has taken place, and now you are a mom! You’ve been thinking about what to do, and how you are going to be a great mom but as soon as that baby starts crying 8:00am until 1:00 in the afternoon, you have to accept that little some babies may cry over five hours, and there’s nothing you can do but hold them, rock them, sing, and pamper them. But some teen parents would probably get emotional, angry, or even beat the child.

I’ve seen my brother newborn son, cry for six hours. “I said, wow how do you take that, and he says, I’ve had eight kids, I know what to do, and how to take care of them. It doesn’t bother me. “I said, why does he cry? He said, that’s what some babies do. What’s so sweet about it is that You have to hold them, and rock them, and sing, and talk to them, until they stop or fall asleep.He held himself accountable. A teen parent not only experiences this for the first time but will experience a lot more as time goes on.

When our teen parents start to experience parenthood, and start to learn about relationship, and take note of each and every step that has been taking to help secure this loving relationship with their child, they have to hold themselves accountable for their actions. They have to hold themselves accountable for the safety of the child. They have to be absolutely ready to be accountable for raising their child, everyday. I could imagine that having a relationship with a child is awesome, and being a parent is so magical. “Just think?” You are the hand of love, and care. You are the heart of protection, and the provider for life.

Learning about Relationship

A new parent has to learn about that new encounter. He or she has to form a relationship with the child. They have to understand that the child has no recollection of what’s going on. The child has to learn that he or she is loved. You have to teach the newborn that they are safe. You have to show them that they are loved. You have to understand that they are afraid, and they need you to be there every second to hold them and nourish them. Soon you will be able to manage that wonderful, relationship and create something more beautiful than the moon itself.

Everything that you thought about before the baby was born all becomes a brand new experience. Your relationship with your newborn is a whole new type of relationship, and that relationship will last for a lifetime. Your relationship with your child will change and evolve as time goes on. All your hopes, wishes, and dreams should  revolve around your child.

Manage your Relationship

Manage: be in charge of (a company, establishment, or undertaking); administer; run.

“their elder son managed the farm” , succeed in surviving or in attaining one’s aims, especially against heavy odds; cope.

As time goes on you have to manage your relationship between you and your child. Get to know your child. Do everything with your child, read, sing, cuddle, write, dance, walk, talk, to your child. Be your child best friend. Be your child parent! Your child will grow up and love you and respect you for that. “Also be able to cope.” You have to have coping skills so you will be able to manage your time, and believe it or not, you have to manage your feelings, and thoughts. You do not want your thoughts to race with worry, and you do not want your emotions to get the best of you. You have to stay mentally and emotionally balanced. 

You can not let things take you away from your child. You can’t think of sacrificing your time. Your child is your time. If you can’t work right now, it’s okay! If you can’t get everything you need to right now! It’s okay! You will be able to do these things whenever your child reaches a certain age or when you are able to get a trusting babysitter. Don’t feel bad if you can’t go to school. Read books! Teach yourself stuff! You also can buy a used laptop and read things online or find odd jobs online, you can do at home. You stay on facebook all day long anyway! I understand because I like facebook also. Facebook is a way to connect people! If you did this you may not make a zillion dollars but you will make something! Or like I said, be patient and take good care of your child! You have to continue to be confident, assertive, optimistic, build on your positive high self-esteem!

Mentally and Emotionally balanced.

Mentally: in a manner relating to the mind. in or with the mind or intellect; intellectually. thought or thought pattern. mind, spirit, ambition.

Emotionally: pertaining to or involving emotion or the emotions. subject to or easily affected by emotion : feelings.

Being mentally and emotionally balanced is a great way to think and feel. When you have a balance you are able to separate your feelings from your thoughts. You are able to think when you have to think, and feel when you have to feel. Some people do not know how to separate the two. Especially some teens. Teens have lots to think about and their minds race, a hundred miles an hour. Some teens can’t sit still. Some teens think of so much stuff that they become so confused, and emotional. Some teens worry about things that grown ups worry about. Teens should not put their minds on changing the world right away. A teen has to learn lots of things to be able to change the world we live in. Teens have to figure out stuff, and if the teen does not ask questions it can be even harder for them to understand life. Some teens don’t ask questions because they don’t want to feel dumb.

Some teens go through so much trying to prove themselves that they lose track of what they want. Some teens are so caught up in music, entertainment, fades, trends, myths, superstition, etc, and they don’t know where they are going or what they want to do tomorrow. They have mixed emotions, and they can not think for five minutes unless it’s about something really bad or really good. Some teens have no motivation, and by them not being able to express themselves they end up becoming mentally and emotionally unbalanced. Have you ever asked a teen what they were thinking about, and they will say, “I don’t know or they will say, “nothing!” Why is this? How do you keep your mind and your feelings from mixing like water and oil!

When you have a child, you will have lots of mixed feelings, and mixed emotions, and your thinking will be new, and a little confusing, because you never had a child. But it’s okay! You have a good perspective of what you will do, but you really don’t know what to do. Because you have never done what you are about to do.

Of course you may assume that you know what to do through your imagination and experiences. You may have read books, and looked at videos, and that’s great. But still, you have to learn as you go along, especially if you have no one to help you. The way you keep that balance is taking your time. And believing in you and your child are one. One mind, One spirit. “That is your balance on the scale. “EQUAL” Look at your child like as if it is you!

You must always want to take your time. Time is an essence. It’s okay to think slow and figure out things. The first time you do something you may do it wrong but it’s okay because then you are able to learn. If you learn from your mistakes, you will be able to do the right thing next time. You can’t get upset because you couldn’t put the pamper on the baby the right way. You can’t get upset if you didn’t mix the formula right. You can’t get upset if your child spilled all the milk you had left. Smash up some bread really thin, and mix it with some water, and heat it up, and that will at least keep the baby from being hungry. There’s honestly a lot of different ways to keep a baby from being hungry.

Believe it or not, my mom would mash up potatoes and mix them with water, and it would be so soupy, that when I sucked on the bottle, I could of sworn it was milk. Sometimes she would tell us that it was ice cream, and  trust me, every kid wants to hear that they are having ice cream every night. The way she did things was very helpful to her and us.

Everything you do should be because of your child.  Your relationship should be about love, care, concern, protection, patient, maturity, consistency, etc. If you have never experienced these feelings or emotions or attributes, you have other parents that can give you advice on these things.

Once the teen parent starts to accept things, and form that loving understanding relationship, they should focus in on being mature. Being mature is a big part of being a parent. You can’t act like a child when you have a child. You have to know how to be mature all the time. You can’t be immature and think that you can raise a child the correct way. You don’t fight with a child like some teen parents do! You don’t curse at the child like some teen parents do!

Maturity: the state, fact, or period of being mature.

“their experience, maturity, and strong work ethic” adulthood, manhood, womanhood.

But remember that being mature is different from being grown. Maturity has all to do with your choices and decision making. You have to know how to make your own choices and the right choices for you and your child. Teen parents can be easily influenced by other friends that are not parents, or by the streets,etc. If you are a teen parent, you shouldn’t be all in the streets. The only thing that should influence you is your loving child.

You have to watch what you do and say around a child because a child will absorb everything from you and whomever it comes in contact with. Once a child reaches the age where it can comprehend sound and feelings, it will absorb everything around it. The child doesn’t know anything about cursing and rap music. It only knows how to copy, mimic, monkey see, monkey do, etc. You can’t curse your child out, and let your child listen to gangster rap music, and be around people that curse or smoke or do drugs. You have to be aware of how you feel around your child. You can’t always be depressed and angry. The more positive things you say and do around your child the more your child will adapt to those positive traits.

Be mature. Let your child know that you are a mature person. You can’t beat, and abuse your child. I know that children have to be spanked but it’s a way you spank your child. 1. You can slowly tap it on the hand or on it’s bottom.  2. You can Sit the child down and tap it’s feet. 3. Do Not use a big belt on your child when he or she is very young. A belt can bruise or break one of their bones. 4. Watching what you say to your child while you are tapping or spanking them makes a whole difference/big difference. (You may want to say, “you are being spanked for being bad, however I still love you and want you to grow up to be a strong, honest person.”) Don’t say, “I’m going to beat the sh-t out of you everytime you do that sh-t!”

It’s okay to explain to them slowly why you are spanking them. You have to talk slowly to them and may have to say the same thing over and over until they understand. 5. Do not snatch your child by the shoulder, arm, leg, or neck, because you can dislocate it’s bone. When spanking your child it only takes one or two licks, it doesn’t take ten. If you hit them over two times, you have to realize that you may be abusing them. You can not let your child stress you out. It is a child, and a child does not understand the things you understand. You are an adult. Adults should ask questions like who, what, and why. The most important thing is, do not leave your child with a stranger or unattended let someone you do not know hold or keep your child.

If you are a teen parent, always seek advice on how to raise your child. Don’t be afraid to ask another parent about something that you don’t know. I believe that it may be even better if you can become friends with someone about seventy five years old. You could learn a lot of things from your grandparents or an older couple that have great grand kids.

Patient

Patient: able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

Be patient! Being patient doesn’t mean that you wait, wait, wait! Being patient means, you do something positive to occupy your time while you wait. Suppose you have to wait on an answer for a babysitter from an assistance program? Do something positive or creative why you are waiting, so you don’t get worried or go crazy. If you are waiting for a job, do something that will help you to be more then ready for the job. Don’t just sit around or stand around. Get active, be active in something positive. So when you receive your answer, you will be more than ready to go to the next level in life. I think patient is a need. We all need patient.

Patient teach us how to live in and with time. Some things can take forever to come but you don’t have to just lie there and wait. Get up and go do something to keep your mind active. Working hard at something takes lots of patient. Taking care of a child takes lot of patient. You have to be more then calm, considerate, attentive, etc. Taking care of your child most definitely is a daily routine. While you are taking care of your child you can also be reading, good, motivational books or writing down a good plan for you and your child’s future. In fact, you should have already written down a good plan, before your child was born. That good plan should be taped to your wall where you can see it and read it everyday. “Trust me, it works!!!”

So be patient with your child and be patient with yourself. Don’t try to go fast. It takes time to raise your child.

Environmental Adjustment

Environmental: the aggregate of surrounding things, conditions, or influences;surroundings; milieu. Ecology. the air, water, minerals, organisms, and all other external factors surrounding and affecting a given organism at any time. the social and cultural forces that shape the life of a person or a population.

Adjustment: the act of adjusting; adaptation to a particular condition, position, or purpose. the act of bringing something into conformity with external requirements: adapt, cope, fit into your way of life.

When you do an environmental adjustment, all you are doing is making yourself comfortable, and safe, so that you can raise your child as correctly as you believe. You don’t have to move across town to a rich neighborhood. You do not have to move into a brand new house, but you do have to learn how to change your surroundings to fit your needs, and your child’s needs.

The environment you need to change first, is your mind! Our mind is an environment that we live in 24 hours a day! Just like you would go outside and clean up your community, you also have to keep your mind clean. You have to feel safe inside your mind. You have to get rid of the worry, guilt, and resentment. Clean up your thoughts! Think about things that profit, and benefit you.

You may even have to leave the negative, friends, behind and pick new friends, that have more in common. You would have to learn how to keep your place clean so your child will not get sick. You would have to stop playing the loud music. You would have to stop all the company. You would have to concentrate on your child’s safety by not taking your child places where children do not belong. You will have to make sure that you are able to find the places that you need. Like programs, hospitals, clinics, etc.You would have to make sure that you know and trust who is around your child. You can not go around fighting and starting trouble.

To all the teen gang banging dads…

You can do an environmental Adjustment by changing your attitude, and personality. You don’t want a person to look at you as a tough, mean gang banger. You want people to look at you as a responsible dad. If you were selling drugs before your baby was born and your customers considered you as one of the nicest drug dealers in the neighborhood, you could still be that person and work a job.

If you do this, you will start noticing how things you need for your child, comes to you. People will be more than willing to help and assist you, because they will see that you live in the neighborhood, and not the neighborhood lives in you. You can’t be Rapper g hood, or Rambo when you raise a child. You have to adjust and become a responsible teen dad. It may seem hard at first because the influence of the streets, but you have to make a choice. Why be in a gang when a gang doesn’t offer anything but jail or death. I was in a gang/organization, (the Gangster Disciple Nation), I loved getting money and having lots of beautiful, chicks, but the only thing I received from being in a gang was nine bullets inside of me.

I could of died, but I was blessed to be here to share my advice with you. I had to form new habits and that in itself took some time. Of course it’s hard but you can do it. Change is hard sometimes, but when you change the way you think, and feel, for the better, your reward is great! Don’t get me wrong! I know that you will still have to get up in the morning and witness, crime, and maybe even see the same things going on. You may hear a few gunshots, and see a couple people fighting. You may even see a guy walking around with his gun.

But why worry yourself about what someone else is doing? I would rather die from a stray bullet while raising my child, then to die from being involved in a gang, while my child is at home everyday without a father caring for her. It’s the child that is important! It shouldn’t scare you to be a great teen parent in a ghetto, crime infested neighborhood. There’s people in worse places, and they still love and care for their child. If you tell your leader that you can not continue in the gang activity, because you have made a choice to be a good dad, than that leader should respect that, or he is not a leader. In fact he should make sure that you and your child are well protected!

Form new habits

Form: external appearance of a clearly defined area, as distinguished from color or material; configuration: something that gives or determines shape; a mold. The manner or style of arranging and coordinating parts for a pleasing or effective result, as in literary or musical composition.

New: of recent origin, production, purchase, etc.; having but lately come or been brought into being: of a kind now existing or appearing for the first time; novel: having but lately come to a place, position, status, etc.

Habits: an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary: a particular practice, custom, or usage: mental character or disposition: a habit of mind.

Forming new habits can be a very hard job! This can and will take time, because you have to get into the habit of being a good, responsible parent, and that’s a learning experience. When you become a parent you really need to look at parenting videos and ask all the questions that you can. If you never been a parent, you have lots to learn. But what is good about that is that you will be busy learning, and as you learn you will be experiencing things you’ve never experienced before.

Creating a new you is awesome because once you look in the mirror, and see the parent that you have created, you will be so overjoyed that you took the initiative to rename your life as a parent. Some habits are hard to break but we all are able to break negative habits. How you break the habits is on you. You may have a habit of spending all of your money on clothes.

I knew a girl who was seventeen, that would spend all her money on clothes and partying, but then she got pregnant. Every Time I seen her, she had on brand new clothes and shoes. She didn’t miss a sale! She was so beautiful that even the sun loved to see her every day. But what was sad is that her baby looked like a rag doll. She would never buy enough milk, food, or clothes for her child. She smoked weed and drank the most expensive drink she could buy. She had lots of friends. Her mom would complain because she wanted her to save her money, and move out on her own. Her and her mom would argue all day long about her not taking good care of her child.

“One day she asked me, what am I doing wrong, why am I a poor mom, I love my child. I Said, you’re not a poor mom?” I said, to her, “you just have to get into the habit of putting your child first. She said, what do I do? I said, soon as you get your pay check instead of going to buy weed and clothes, go buy the baby everything he needs. She said, if I do that I will only have $400.00 left. I said, still you have to put $300.00 of that inside the bank. She looked at me and said, but then I,ll only have a $100.00 left. I said, do you need any clothes, She said but I need my nails done every month. I keep breaking them when I change the babies pampers. I said, well, why keep buying fake nails when you have to take care of a life that you brought into this world?

That life you brought into this world needs you to be there for it, and it needs almost every penny you make so it can be healthy and strong. Do you want your child to be unhealthy and always needing things? “Well believe it or not, about 3 months later she not only had her own apartment but she had a car, and she looked like she hadn’t brought any brand new clothes, plus she stopped getting high and drinking. “Whatever she did and how she did it, she did it!” She developed a better way of thinking. She put her mind on what she needed. She formed new habits and didn’t realize that she used mind development, she was so overjoyed that she listened to me that she started thanking me and crying. You can do it! You can be whatever you put your mind to! Never say never! You have to be ambitious, and continue to be motivated. You can’t be lazy and wait for things to happen.

Mind Development 

Mind Development: The human brain is a powerful organ, some of us aren’t aware of how much the mind is truly capable of, and how powerful it can become through deliberate training. By exercising the brain, you can use repetition and positive habits to change they way you see things. You also can change the way you do things. We can achieve what may have previously seemed nearly impossible, if we are willing to believe in the reward that will come.

Mind development takes practise and patients. You have to really focus in on you and your potential. Everybody has the potential to do and be. Mind development is taking what you know about yourself and improving yourself through focusing in on them thoughts that a important. You have to develop a different way of being who you are. You have to create a positive thought that you can and must execute. That thought has to be a realistic thought. Once you create that thought, you have to put it in action. It’s good to imagine that you already have done whatever you are thinking. Act like you can see it happen. Feel it and believe it. Write it down and tape it to the wall. Some people say all you have to do is keep speaking it and talking about it!

There are many of ways to explain mind development. There are books and videos you can look at, and buy. I used motivational speaker videos from youtube. I look and listened to those videos over and over again. I believe in what they were saying and I put it into motion. I believed that I had the potential to be and do.I developed a whole new way of thinking through believing, imagining, and practising.

Cognitive: of or relating to the mental processes of perception, memory,judgment, and reasoning, as contrasted with emotional and volitional processes.

 

  1. Think about a realistic, reasonable goal, and arational, realistic plan.
  2. Make alist of good reasons why it’s important for you to reach your goal, and believe this will bring a reward. Don’t let temptation deviate you from your plan.
  3. Always give yourself credit whenever you reach a different level in your goal.
  4. Do your best to avoid all behaviors that would take you away from your goal.
  5. Once you set up your  plan, hold yourself accountable. Be an adult about what you need.
  6. Think about being goal oriented. Do not do things to sabotage your goals.
  7. Go around  Do not challenge yourself. Habits are hard to break! Once you solve a problem, advance to the next level in your thinking.
  8. Understand that you will have mixed feelings. You may become a little insecure, discourageddisappointedor feel a little deprive. But you have to be consistent, and believe that it’s all for the best.
  9. Know your  Believe that your reward is a great reward. Keep saying to yourself, “I need this reward.
  10. Focus on you, and imagine that you have done it already!
  11. When you feel like you are going astray, take time out and relax, think about your realistic goal and the reward. After you have taken time out, go back at it. And most of all, remember Rome wasn’t built in a day.

There are lots of information on this subject. Being a teen parent takes studying,researching, and reading: like as if you were in college. So be more than willing to read, and educate yourself on how to raise a child. If you can’t read, look and listen to a video.

Be Consistent

Consistent: (of a person’s, behavior, or process) unchanging in achievement or effect over a period of time. constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc.: holding firmly together; cohering.

Being consistent, plays great part in being a responsible, mature, productive, parent. Consistency will approve your everyday work and effort. It will show you that you are doing well, and that you know what you are doing. When a person really know’s what they need, and know what they want to achieve, they start to be more consistent. They start seeing things come together and grow. They start being more ambitious and start feeling good about themselves.

A farmer has to be consistent. He has to get up every morning, plant, water, cultivate, and prune. In the evening he has to sometimes water, cultivate, and be watchful of things that will destroy his plants. He may even get up in the middle of the night to stop a rabbit or a racoon from eating up all the lettuce. Then without much sleep, he has to get back up even earlier to Water and pick out weeds, or pull down vines. He has to treat his plants like babies when they are born. He has to see that they are fed and cared for so they can grow up to be strong, beautiful, and ripe, just like children need constant care and concern.

The farmer is consistent. His consistency gives him experience and helps him to enjoy being productive.

Anyone with a goal pursued, Knows that you have to be consistent if you would like to achieve that goal. You start to see that you’re wishing, Hoping, dreaming, and expectation was all worth it. If you want something to happen it it’s time, you have to be consistently pushing, and moving forward.

 Wishing, Hoping, Dreaming, Expectation

We as humans do a lot of wishing, hoping, dreaming, and expectation. I believe that everyone on this earth wants something in life, out of life. Everyone gets up in the morning and desire something they never had or something they know that they want. Everyone desires to be someone or go somewhere. What would life be if we did not wish, hope, dream or have expectation?

These four things are magical! Our world is full of endless possibilities, and you have to sometimes imagine these things can and will come true.

Being a teen parent is sometimes sitting down or lying back, and wishing that your child will grow up to be someone great! It’s about hoping your child will be safe and grow up strong. You have to dream that your child can grow up and make a difference in our world. You must expect that the blood of your blood will be a positive, productive, successful, person!

There’s nothing wrong with wishing, hoping, dreaming, and expecting for something great to happen. I wish, hope, dream and expect all the time. In fact when there’s nothing else to hold onto, I go to my wishing well and make a wish or I go to my hoping rope and I pull and pull and pull. Or I go to my dreaming door and I walk in and dream of many things. I love my expectation house, because it’s full of priceless thoughts of goals and success oriented stories about people like me that was not afraid to give life their all.

Goal and Success oriented

Goal: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end. the terminal point in a race. a pole, line, or other marker by which such a point is indicated.

Success: the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals.the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like. a performance or achievement that is marked by success, as by the attainment of honors: The play was an instant success. a person or thing that has had success, as measured by attainment of goals, wealth, etc.

Oriented:  to familiarize (a person) with new surroundings or circumstances, or the like: to adjust with relation to, or bring into due relation to surroundings,circumstances, facts, etc.

What is your goal? Do you want to be successful? Are you oriented? When you become a teen parent, you should honestly know the answers to these three questions. Knowing what you would like to achieve as a parent, helps out a lot. Success can be thought of in many different ways. You don’t have to be rich to be successful. Raising your child the right way is the best way. You can be poor and still raise a child correctly. Being poor and raising a child can be somewhat difficult but money can’t always make you happy.

Don’t get me wrong, money is very helpful but money is a tool and once you become financially successful or a millionaire, you can do and enjoy whatever you plan to do. Being oriented or familiar with or knowledgeable of your goals, and your definition of success is a path to be satisfied and happy. “And stop saying or thinking you are poor! Why don’t you say, I am in the process of obtaining what I need through hard work, patience, and a high self-esteem. You don’t have to use them words but don’t keep telling yourself that you are poor. You are a teen. You have a good future if you take control of your life! Always saying or thinking that you are poor, only puts a mental obstacle in your way that holds no truth. I do know that some people are poor but still if you are poor doesn’t mean that you can’t raise a child properly.

We know that working to complete some goals take hours and hours of hard work. We know that it takes good planning, and responsibility to become successful in life. Nothing comes easy, and free does not mean that it is exactly what you need. I would rather work hard at my goals. I would rather keep my eyes pinned on a successful way of doing things. When I say a successful way of doing things I mean that everything I see  done, is accomplishment, big or small, is success to me.

You have to know that you can live with your accomplishments. You can’t sabotage your goals. Some people will work hard at being successful, and as soon as they are able to see a door open, they start to sabotage their goals. They start to get nervous, because they can’t accept change. They want what they worked so hard for but just knowing that life will be better makes them afraid. They become so used to living under pressure, that they can’t live without pressure.

Do you believe that it’s hard to live happy and be happy if you are working to be happy. Happiness should come from within. If you’re working at something to be happy, it can take you years. You should be happy each and everyday you open your eyes. I’ts even harder to work to be rich. If you are working to be rich, it can take you forever. Some people are very, very, poor, and they wake up just as happy as the next man. Working at a goal should be apart of you that wants to strive for a purpose. Being goal and success oriented should be a trait. It should be a way of life for all!

Once you see your reward coming you should embrace it, and use it to go to the next level in life. Do not be failure oriented. Do not be afraid of something good happening. Go for what you know. Know in your heart that you can live with being successful, and you like reaching for that goal. You must feel good about accomplishments. Being a teen parent takes believing in tomorrow. Knowing that everyday holds the magic that you need. Be willing to surround yourself with people that have goals, and people that want to be successful. Embrace your everyday rewards. Want to be a good, responsible parent. Live to be the best parent you can for your child.

Read! Read! Read! Reading positive, educational material to your child will help your child to understand that reading is a good tool. After you read to your child, you should give your child a book to read. Every time your child starts to read the book that you’ve given to her, as soon as you see your child reading her book, you should also start to read a book.

You can always take a book and read a few pages with your child, then ask your child to read the rest of the book to you. If you give your child this key she will want to always read. If you can’t read at all, you can get help so you can learn how to read or get Children’s Books that are basic enough for you to read. Books open doors. Open a door to your child’s mind! reading a book every week can change your life.  There’s nothing like reading! If you read a motivational book, it will help give you confidence and help build your self-esteem.

Responsibility

Responsibility: the state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management. reliability or dependability, especially in meeting debts or payments.on one’s own responsibility, on one’s own initiative or authority:

Teen parents can be responsible. Just because you are young doesn’t exempt you from being responsible. When you have a child, you have to take responsibility to a whole different level. That means you have to be mature and an adult. You can’t go around acting and talking like you are a child. The baby needs to be fed everyday. You have to wash the child body off two, three, four times a day. You will put a brand new pair of pants on your little boy, and turn around for two seconds and he will be all messy with dirt. His face will have chocolate all over it. You will be washing his clothes in the washing machine and on your hands.

This is your responsibility. After you have learned the things I have brought to your attention, you must be a responsible adult about life. If you continue to be a responsible adult, you will be surprised at how well you start to feel. Trust me, there’s nothing like being a good, responsible, teen parent. It may not be easy being broke, and raising your child the correct way, but I would rather be broke raising a child the correct way, than to have to work hard everyday and not being able to spend the time I need to raise my child properly. Life is full of sacrifices. You are the one that had the child. The child did not force you to have it.

If you don’t have any type of structure, than build or find a structure to live by. Examine yourself and see if you need behavior modification. See if you have a positive belief system, and if you don’t then create one that fits you. Your belief system doesn’t have to be the same as mine. Your belief system should be one that fits you.

See if you have a low self-esteem or a high self-esteem. If you have a self-esteem problem, get help from someone that can teach you about self-esteem. Learn the difference from acting on something, and reacting to something. Learn about self-awareness. You should be good at solving problems, if you know how to make choices, if not learn how to make your own choices. Be an adult about things. You have to have acceptance and hold yourself accountable for your own actions.

Learning about relationship, because relationship is a very powerful key when it comes to teen parenting. Read up on relationship and how you should treat yourself and other people. Learn how to manage your relationship. Remember that your relationship with your child should be your first priority.

Establish a balance in life. Keep your mind focused on what’s right. Being mentally and emotionally balanced is very important when raising a child. Maturity has to be a way of life in parenting. You can’t act like a child, if you are raising a child. Seek advice from other parents. You don’t have to raise your child in secrecy. Go ask questions! Be patient. Remember patience, is a need when it comes to raising a child.

Make an environmental adjustment. If the friends you have is a bad influence on your child, do not bring your child around them. Don’t play music that says, violent or bad things like kill and hate, etc to your child. Do not let your child look at hateful, scary, violent, movies. Form new habits, so that your child can grow up with positive, productive habits, that have positive morals and values.

Mind development is a must. When the mind grows and develops properly, life can be much easier to live in. Be consistent. There’s nothing wrong with wishing, hoping, dreaming and expectation. The world is magical, and sometimes you have to imagine good things can and will happen. Be goal and success oriented. This will also help you to understand your limitations. It will also give you ambition, motivation, and drive. Understand that the world you live in has endless possibilities, and life is full of benefits. Learn about actions, behavior, consequences, circumstances, priority, discipline, principles, belief, etc.

Before you go any further in the lifestyle of a teen parent, change the way you think and feel about our world. It’s how you think and feel about yourself and what you need to do to be productive. Build your self-esteem! Look at our world as a baby. Take care of our world. Be at peace with your family and your neighbors. 

Also if you don’t have a high school diploma, study and get your GED!!! THEN GO TO COLLEGE!!!

I would also like to mention, that if you would like to gather or research any other information that would help you to understand children , family, and parents well being, and how life can be for some families, please feel free to read what Jeanne Brooks and her colleagues has to share. You will be totally amazed!

 

Are you a gay teen? 

  1. How do you feel about being a gay teen?
  2. Are you ashamed of being gay?
  3. What would you rather be, gay or a murderer?
  4. Do your parents treat you different from the rest of your siblings, and why?
  5. What’s wrong with being gay?
  6. Do people tell you that gay people are going to hell?
  7. Can gay teens be kind, gentle, loving, considerate, smart, successful, wise, and sociable?
  8. Are you afraid sometimes because people intimidate and scare  you?
  9. Should a gay teen be told that they can’t make it in life if they’re gay?
  10. Is it hard for you to accept yourself as a gay teen?
  11. By you being gay, do you have a low self-esteem?
  12. Does our creator love gay teens also?
  13. Do you have a high self-esteem?
  14. What does self-esteem mean?
  15. Do you know what self-efficacy means??
  16. If you are a gay teen, can you be a productive, entrepreneur?

What is the meaning of self-image?

I’m asking these questions because I believe that being gay, whether you’re a teen, adult or a child, you should be treated with equality and that you should be loved like everyone else. I could imagine that when a parent finds out that one of their children is gay, that they may be somewhat surprised and may even get upset or be ashamed of them.

I’ve heard horror stories on how parents treat their teens when they are gay. If I had a gay teen, I would give them all the love and concern they need. I would keep them strong and help them to stay confident, because they would be blood of my blood. We can’t stop a lot of things from going on in life and we have to accept life as it is. Gay teens are on earth to live by our side also. Build their character and self-esteem. Don’t stereotype them.

Just because you are gay doesn’t mean you are different than anyone else. Gay teens are smart, funny, cool, nice, helpful, inspiring, strong, mature, talented, assertive, caring, and have a high self-esteem, etc. Just because you are a gay teen doesn’t mean you will go to hell. In fact lots of straight people can go to hell too.

Hell is for the people that do wrong. What if you are a gay teen and all you do is help people and show kindness and care for our world? Do you think that our Creator is going to send you to hell. Lots of gay teens are kind people too. If you went to hell it had to be because you were doing evil and wickedness.

If gay people want to marry each other, that’s not my business. Personally I’m not the one marrying him or her and I don’t have to live in their household. Let them be! It’s their choice! The Word of the Most High does say that homosexuals will not enter into heaven. But in another place the Messiah also says to the priest, preachers, and the Pharisees, that the whore and the tax collector will enter into heaven before you do!

He told them that, because they were doing more wrong then the people that are considered bad people. So really, individually, it’s who you are inside. I’m not trying to take up for the gay community. Everybody on earth has problems and pay bills and can have worries and those who are gay face the same obstacles that everyone does. I do know that being gay is a challenge and they are not animals. They are people and they must be respected like everyone else. If you are a gay teen be strong. If you’re gay, it’s okay! Stay confident! Enjoy teenstructure.com! “Let our creator be the judge!” We should not judge anyone.

If you are a gay teen, we at Teen Structure, care’s about you and we love and respect all people. Stay safe and live by positive, morals, and values, and principles, and standards. Have a high self-esteem. Don’t let people scare you. Do well in school. When people belittle and intimidate people, that means that the person belittling and intimidating you, is ashamed of themselves. They have a low self-esteem.

Main articles: Sexual orientation, Sexual identity and Human sexual behavior. Sexual orientation, identity, behavior

See also: Situation sexual behavior

The American Psychological Association defines sexual orientation as “an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions to men, women, or both sexes,” ranging “along a continuum, from exclusive attraction to the other sex to exclusive attraction to the same sex.” Sexual orientation can also be “discussed in terms of three categories: heterosexual (having emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to members of the other sex), gay/lesbian (having emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to members of one’s own sex), and bisexual (having emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to both men and women).

According to Rosario, Schrimshaw, Hunter, Braun (2006), “the development of a lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) sexual identity is a complex and often difficult process. Unlike members of other minority groups (e.g., ethnic and racial minorities), most LGB individuals are not raised in a community of similar others from whom they learn about their identity and who reinforce and support that identity. Rather, LGB individuals are often raised in communities that are either ignorant of or openly hostile toward homosexuality.

The British gay rights activist peter Tatchell has argued that the term gay is merely a cultural expression which reflects the current status of homosexuality within a given society, and claiming that “Queer, gay, homosexual … in the long view, they are all just temporary identities. One day, we will not need them at all.

If a person engages in sexual activity with a partner of the same sex but does not self-identify as gay, terms such as ‘closeted, ‘discreet’, or ‘bi-curious’ may apply. Conversely, a person may identify as gay without having had sex with a same-sex partner. Possible choices include identifying as gay socially while choosing to be celibate or while anticipating a first homosexual experience. Further, a bisexual person can also identify as “gay” but others might consider gay and bisexual to be mutually exclusive. There are some who are drawn to the same sex but neither engage in sexual activity nor identify as gay; these could have the term asexual applied, even though asexual generally can mean no attraction or involve heterosexual attraction but no sexual activity.

If you live in a glass jug, you cannot change.

If I placed you into a glass jug and put you up on the shelf, went away for a year, can back and took you out would you have grown or changed? The world around us it not a glass jug and everything is in consistent motion. Everything is always changing. Some things are changing for the better and some things are changing for the worse. So what do we do? Do we accept these change’s, or fight against these change’s? If there is no room to change, you will not change but the world is so, so, big, it’s indelible that we change. So why is it hard for the people to accept change? some people can’t change. Some people won’t change, Some people can’t face change. Some people do not like change. Is that the way of the world?

Our self-image determines what kind of people we are and what type of people we become through change. You can change your socks, pants, car, job, and hair color, but can you change the way you think and feel about yourself?

If you already have a healthy, successful, confident, wonderful, self image, you have done well, but I myself think that we all should continue to improve our self image. I think even one of the greatest people on earth can always grow and continue to add on to their wonderful self image. If you have limitation and it’s hard for you to change your image, there is a way you can remove your limitations. It takes learning how to enlarge your self-image. You have to have self-esteem, and have self-awareness though. You need to be self motivated, and look at how you want to see your achievements as positive rewards.

Experience helps us to either form an opinion of ourselves or change that image for the better. The outside image of yourself is apart of the inside image of yourself, but the inside image helps you to continue to look, act, think, and feel better about yourself, and the world around you. If you do not have an experience to reflect on, you can always use your imagination to grow. Einstein, says something like, ” Logic takes you from A to Z, but imagination will take you everywhere.”

When I wanted to change, I had to imagine what type of person I wanted to be. I had to put things in perspective and be confident that I could change the way I thought and felt about myself and the world around me. Through experience I knew what I wanted to change about myself. If you always feel or think negative, you will always see negative results. If you always feel or think positive, you will always see positive results.

Some people worry about things that are not true or valid to their existence. Worry stops a person from growing and changing. Worry is not thought! I think that thought is something, positive, happy, constructive, beautiful, educational, beneficial, mature, profitable, and brings change and awareness or a solution. I think that worry is negative, bitterness, fear, hate, resentment, depression, shame and anxiety. Worry never solves anything. So why can’t our world, country, or people change? Is it that so many people worry about things that will not improve their lives?

One thing I don’t do is worry about failure, progress, money, women or my future. It’s been several years since lots of politicians, teachers, preachers, police, store owners, corporations, etc, failed at their jobs, and instead of some of the people in our country moving ahead, and accepting the fact that you can’t go back in time: they continue to hold on to these worries about failure. Some people are not able to be perfect when performing some jobs and people will fail at lots of things, but once they fail at something, it’s suppose to be water under the bridge. They need to move on and stop worrying. If you worry every single day about nothing then nothing will be your outcome. Plus if you look at our history as a people, you will see that failure is also apart of human existence, but it doesn’t have to mold the rest of your future. Some people look at failure as a tool to help rethink their steps so that they can do better in life. But a lost is a lost. A lost isn’t always bad. Some losts help you to gain.

There was always gay people on earth. Some of our great leaders, actors, kings, politicians, school teachers, doctors, lawyers, police officers, and religious leaders, were gay, and did a great job. Still some of our great leaders, actors, kings, politicians, school teachers, doctors, lawyers, and police officers are gay, and they are doing a great job.

BUT WHY DO SOME OF THE PEOPLE IN OUR WORLD WORRY, AND DISCRIMINATE, AND REJECT THE GAY COMMUNITY, ABOUT SOME THINGS? ISN’T IT TIME FOR CHANGE. WE SHOULD CONCENTRATE ON THE FUTURE OF OUR NATION AS A WHOLE. GAY, WHITE, BLACK, HANDICAP, MUSLIM, FAT, LATINA PEOPLE, ETC, ARE A PART OF OUR GREAT NATION AND HAVE BEEN APART OF OUR GREAT NATION SINCE THE NATION BECAME A NATION.

We can’t force America or our great world to change. But we as individuals can change.

Once I moved to the beach, and the beach was prominently whites. Every where I went their was a white person staring at me, or their was something being said about me, or to me. I was accused of things I didn’t do. I was discriminated and labeled as loud, and thuggish. However, I knew that all these encounters I had were not true and were ignorant. I thought that I had to believe that these people were racist, and I didn’t belong on the beach, and it worried me. Every morning I went on the beach, I went on defense.

Some whites could not accept me because they didn’t know how. Some didn’t want to accept me because they didn’t know me and were afraid. So I talked to me lawyer, and, “he said, Cliff, all you have to do is keep your mind on you. and continue to build the image that you want people to see you as. “He said, If you continue to mature, and be a people person and be different then they have experienced with some blacks, then they will see that you are an asset to the community, and they will accept you as a person, and not as a black.” He said, it’s not a white black thing. It’s fear, worry, and ignorance. It’s up to you to continue changing though. “They don’t have to change.” Then later, you can write or talk to others about how you’ve changed the way you thought, and felt about yourself and the things around you.

I thought to myself, he’s right! I understand! No one is at fault, because they have a right to think and feel the way they want too. I am the one that needs to change the way I think and feel about myself.

So what if someone doesn’t like me. So what if someone discriminates me. So what if i’m labeled. I still have to live with myself and I still have room for change. I will look at it as collective criticism!

So I had to change the way I thought, and felt about the community and the people. I became involved in the community. I showed full respect for everyone. I opened my heart to all. I shared my drawings with their kids, and did book readings, and talked to every white person I’ve met with respect. I was an inspiration to everyone. Some of them still wouldn’t accept me but I accepted myself as being a positive role model in a prominently white community. I stop thinking that I was a black man in a prominently white community.

Now, everyone on the beach that knows me and even the ones that don’t know me, give me respect because they can see that I am apart of them, their children, their positive thoughts, and their everyday life styles, and I’m not going anywhere else to soon.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen some prejudice at times but, I’ve learned how to accept it and live with it.

It doesn’t bother me if you call me a nigger. The word nigger doesn’t bother me but it does bother some blacks. My mom would tell me, “Sticks and stone may break your bones but words should never hurt you.” In fact I’m mixed with French, Indian, African, Irish, and probably a little Japanese. In fact, some blacks call each other nigger all the time, because it’s a way of culture inside their vocabulary. Some of the black gangster rappers use the word all the time! “And also, I know that I’m not a nigger, and if I was I’d be a good, kind, peaceful, smart, respectful, positive, inspirational, spiritual, nigger.

I DIDN’T COME TO CHANGE THE BEACH AND THE PEOPLE THAT LIVE ON THE BEACH. I CAME TO LIVE ON THE BEACH WITH THE PEOPLE ON THE BEACH AND THE BEACH IS FULL OF GREAT, WONDERFUL, PEOPLE BECAUSE I CHOSE TO THINK THAT WAY.

But first I had to change my image, the way I thought and felt about myself, and the people around me. I also had to build a relationship with the people on the beach, by allowing them to be whomever they thought that they were. I also went the extra mile and became a positive example to everyone through having high self-efficacy.

I often ask this question. Would you rather be black, Muslim, Jew, gay, Christian, fat, a person with a disability, Hispanic, a murderer, a thief, a police, or a politician?

Everyone is stereo typed, and belittle, and discriminated, at some point, even whites. But change has to be in you. You have to change inside, and outside, and believe it or not, you will change the things around you. You will change the way people think and feel about you. Be who you are and live right, and you can change the world. Being gay, black, fat, Muslim, Jewish, ect, is okay! You shouldn’t have to march and fight to get equal rights! Or should you live inside of a glass jug.

Self-esteem is the way we live, feel, and think.

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